Back in November 2015, my biggest news was that I had signed my dream job!
The biggest news before that was that I had lost my job unexpectedly. I have never been good at feeling pity for people or for myself (at least not for very long) and I tried to make sense of this incredibly hard episode of my career.
This is what I wrote.

I lost my job. I would have a lot to say about the context and the way it was done (thankfully I have the most amazing support system with friends and family) but that would not be helpful for any of you, or for me.

What would be good though, would be to share the learnings from that experience.

If you have never worked in the U.S. you may need to understand what it’s like to work in this country or at least how easy and common it is to lose a job. In this country an employer (and an employee) can end a contract with or without notice and with or without reasons.

Fortunately, I was given a 3-month notice (which is VERY unusual from what I can gather). And for that I'm very thankful. But still, your world changes in an instant and your perspective about your work and yourself are shaken.

Here are my 6 biggest takeaways:

1. You learn from your mistakes

After the shock of the news I could only think of my 3-month notice as a timer ticking in my ears non-stop. It was driving me crazy. Until I realized that I finally had time. Time to look at what I have accomplished and above all, what I have learnt from my past mistakes to not repeat them in my next job.

A few things came up pretty quickly:
-I have been lacking self-confidence. And with that, came the time to realize that the gender equality debate was at the center of my problems. After a paragraph of Sheryl Sandberg’s book « Lean In » I was convinced that I needed to work on all of the obstacles I have been setting up against my own development.

-I naively believed that my management cared about me as a person. I thought that after more than 4 years of reliable, loyal and profitable work I was more than a simple employee. Especially in a company with a huge and constant turnover. And frankly because I was told so throughout the years. But the truth is I was an asset all along. An asset that has been used for the good of the company. And that’s fine. What I somehow forgot was to ensure that the relationship was mutually beneficial. And for that to be true, you must have a clear idea of what you really want. So that you get to ask for it in return. And that’s when self-confidence becomes key!

2. You always need to plan with the possibility of losing your job

When you are told in the beginning of the summer that you are losing your job, all your projects are put on hold. But the very first thing I did was to check my bank accounts and calculate what cost could I cut and how long could I leave without a paycheck.

The reality is more complicated than that. Losing a job means that you (and your family) may no longer be covered by health insurance (in cases like mine for example). Which means that any medical emergency will cost us full price and as I’m sure you know, it is very expensive here.

That's how I came to realize that I needed to save a lot more money every month from now on.

Basically you need to:
-have an emergency account in order to be able to live a few months without a salary (ideally 6 months) so that if you lose your job and get sick at the same time you can pay your rent and food AND the medical bills
-a retirement plan (a 401k) because like in France I will have to finance my own retirement.
-a « pleasure » savings account in order to be able to afford a nice vacation at least once a year and a few fancy events or weekends
-a real estate savings, because one day you may want to buy your own place and you will need a down payment
-And then people like us, who wants a family, also need a « kids » account. Having a kid is expensive all the way, especially in big cities like New York.

So from now on I will look at my paycheck very differently. Yes, the salaries are much higher here than they were in France but the risks you face are also greater.

3. It’s not necessarily because you failed

My natural immediate reaction to the news was to be ashamed and willing to hide. (Have I mentioned a MAJOR issue with self-confidence???) But I am a fighter at heart and I also happen to have an amazing husband, family and great friends. So I objectively started to assess if I had failed. Surprisingly I came to the conclusion that this job I devoted myself to, in fact, had not made me fulfilled. I had been a good soldier. I had led teams and accounts that were very profitable. I had been a great manager. Also, I was underpaid. Which made me a great asset!

Since I moved to New York I wasn’t as useful as I used to be. Here is my assessment:
-I have learned to trust my instincts and I had started to question the choices the company was making (therefore I became a protesting soldier),
-I was asked to work on an account that was very mature and on the decline with a limited perimeter (and therefore I was no longer creating value = profit margin).
-I was given no teams (no longer a leader, my zone of genius).
-And I had very well negotiated my transfer to the US so I was now making a lot of money (so definitely an expensive non profitable soldier).

That was it! The math explained their decision.

They are running a business. And I was not as powerful of an asset working in this new assignement as I used to be. But I haven’t failed. And that makes a big difference!

4. Life goes on

If I’m 100% honest, being let go was the hell of a good news. I wanted to leave for quite some time. And they made that « easy » for me. As soon as I sorted out our finances and knew that we could live with no pay for a couple of months, I decided to live. I needed to enjoy myself.

Because going to an interview with a smile would make a huge difference.
Because all of a sudden I felt like the burden I was carrying for 4 years was finally removed.
Because it was summer and nice out.
And because I needed to stop thinking about the job search from time to time. So I might as well enjoy my days as much as I could!

I decided to go back to my childhood passion. I started to take lessons of dressage (horseback riding discipline) in a great barn where the owner also rescues animals. It felt like the best decision I had made in months. And I enjoy every minute at the barn.

5. It’s a good time to think about what you really want to do next

Obviously, I spent a lot of time reviewing my resume, looking back at what I have accomplished, what decisions led me to where I am today. And since I was clearly not happy with my professional life, I reflected on what I really wanted to do next. It feels so scary to admit your big bold goals to yourself. But I believe that I have always been magnetically attracted by not settling for less than what I really want.

And lastly…

6. You have nothing to lose

When it comes to your professional life, you have already lost your job. How much worse can it get? It is therefore the best time to take risks and see what happen. Reach out to people you admire, to people who have the connections you want, to random people. For me, as soon as I decided I would fight for myself and use any possible help I could get, it all came in flooding. People I barely knew, old friends, new friends, people I worked for, people who had no clue what my job was about… They all came to help spontaneously.

But there's a catch: you need to ask for help to get it!

After 3 months of intensive search, I know what I want and I know that it is going to be difficult to get it. As I am publishing this post I luckily have found what could potentially be my dream job. It is going to be a tough one and I will need time and dedicated work for a couple of months, before I open the Champagne and celebrate.

I believe that losing my job was the best thing that happened to me (professionally) in years. The importance is to stay positive and to follow your guts.

With love,
Caroline